Now that I barely made it through the conquest of adolescence and rattled my way through young adulthood, I’ve settled semi-comfortably into the mid 20’s life. It seems easier to appreciate all the wonderful gifts life has to offer. This recognition only results with the growth from trying to conquer all of life’s sticky situations. Something that seems to have escaped us is the  whole notion- ‘life sucks but suck it up and when you [foil] up. . .be accountable’ concept. In the real world, nobody, likes to admit fault or wrong doing. People more than likely walk around with a permanently pointed finger affixed to inflict blame.

Blame. It’s a word that is bound to have people upset in one sitting or another. What does blame really mean?screenshot 2014-12-06 at 9.27.03 am

When you hear someone use this word in context it is usually associated with a negative connotation. Blaming someone does not automatically condemn the accused of any wrong doing. In fact, when used it’s almost counter intuitive to its definition. Blame in a sentence sort of sounds like: “No one wants to take responsibility for what actually happened so they have used me as a scapegoat.”  People might often associate this personality flaw with millennials, hippies or any other degenerate category. It is easier if you don’t think of this as a type of person but the kind of person that the accountability lesson may miss all together.

The quality of your life is dependent on this singular choice that you make. The victim, in this respect has an affliction with the world; life seems to just be happening without any control over their circumstances. This is certainly a phase that every individual experiences. That sense of hopelessness is a part of conditioning yourself on how to handle the challenges you bring upon yourself or those that are actually out of your control. The common thought is that after you have been through enough situations and successfully maneuvered your way through the strife, the load becomes easier. After all, life never stops ‘happening’. But with age- responsibilities grow, mistakes have larger consequences and life is generally more unforgiving.

This is where the victim becomes stagnant. Those who peg themselves victims are settling for a life of disservice. The functionality of this person does not extend beyond the problems that have surfaced and eventually they compound one another. Incessant blame can lead to guilt, depression or something even more harmful- a disassociated state. When the blame game mentality persists with age, your youth can no longer save you from the inability to connect adult decisions.

This inability can rob you of being able to enjoy the simple, beautiful things that make life worth living. You lose the adventure of waking up and wandering into the unknown. You lose the excitement of the surprises and the general will to live to fight another day. Worst of all,  you deteriorate the relationships you have with those around you. The lesson of the blame game is not to say that the life of the victor is always glorious and therefore unburdened. It is only to determine that when you have assigned yourself as accountable for your own life, you are more likely to work toward what is right and maintain a sense of purpose that is not entirely selfish.

The lesson of the blame game is a potential antidote to its peril. If you don’t want to be locked in a box don’t swallow the keys.